Please note: This is not a toy and contains language and activities of an adult nature!

Tamagotchis were all the rage when we were kids and they’ve enjoyed a bit of a youth revival recently, too. But we’re too old for Tamagotchis these days, so what does the 21st century’s electronic gamester get up to? Virtual dating, that’s what.

Your keychain affair takes place inside a plastic, LCD-screened box where you’ll meet, court and perhaps fall in love with your digital beau. You have a random selection of 8 boyfriends/girlfriends that are automatically chosen and your task is to keep them happy by showering them with gifts, taking them out, dishing out compliments like they’d gone out of fashion and indulging in a spot of passionate abandon, should the mood take you.

Each of the 8 virtual characters come with their very one personality, ranging from stalking, unhinged Goth, to vacuous airhead, to bookworm geek. Every partner has their own like and dislikes and you can choose a variety of gifts (lingerie, deodorant, etc), or an array of compliments (seductively cryptic, or lager-lout blunt) to bestow upon them.

Best of all, if you don’t like your date, you can bin them and date another member of the opposite sex within seconds. Speed dating? It’s so over.